


sun, water, life

by meduise



Series: the servant and the maverick [1]
Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bucking Horse Stampede spoilers, Canon Rewrite, Eventual Happy Ending, Gen, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Past Character Death, Pre-Relationship, Recovery, Slow To Update, Somewhere between canon compliant and canon divergence, The Curse of the Arcobaleno spoilers, Trans Male Character, Trauma, but read this keeping in mind that hibari is trans, it will be addressed later on, reborn/fon if you want to see it, specific tw will be added at the start of each chapter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:40:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24044530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meduise/pseuds/meduise
Summary: dino and hibari have yet to find out how alike they are.they've yet to realize that no matter how low they've sunk, they have the potential to resurface.to grow. to be healthier.the most influential teacher is the one who opens your eyes on the plenty of possibilities life has to offer,and the most gratifying student is the one who flourishes with the help of your teachings.right?
Relationships: Dino/Hibari Kyouya
Series: the servant and the maverick [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1774378
Comments: 26
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Simposio](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/629416) by _Calliope_. 



> lil slow burn fic where dino and hibari dont really start in the most friendly of ways but will eventually warm up to each other  
> loosely inspired by the fic linked above - my fave d18 fic, it's written in italian - this is my first multichapter fic and it will collect a bunch of my d18 headcanons of almost 6 years, from the oldest - and improved over time - to the most recent ones. as well as references to psychology studies.  
> i deeply thank the people who have supported me and encouraged me to start this fic ;;; ❤︎
> 
> the events in the story set off after the varia arc and will reach the curse of the arcobaleno arc, but i'll apply my own timeskip that is going to diverge from the future arc we see in canon. hopefully things will make sense to you regardless, and you will like it! thank you if you read it ❤︎
> 
> **tw: mentions of eating disorders**

_All men should strive to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why._

**_James Thurber_ **

* * *

Despite the lack of tutoring experience, the tenth boss of Cavallone had seen right through the outcome of his pupil’s ring battle. The ten training days prior to the clash were enough for Dino to estimate Hibari Kyoya's potentially infinite room for growth. He was the first to consider that guy pretty impressive despite his young age, yet the student’s demeanor spoiled much of Dino’s genuine intent to be proud of him: they had spent only ten days together, but they were enough for him to grow tired of Hibari’s twisted belief in discipline, his arrogance, his bloodlust, his non-communication, the way he had never refrained his murderous instinct whenever he attacked the Bucking Horse — although “training” by definition does not factor in murder.

However Dino's decision to not witness the Cloud fight wasn't out of ill will, and Hibari himself didn't care that he wasn't on the field — hell, he tried to send away the other Vongola, too. 

Both teacher and student had already foreseen the winner. _That Gola Mosca means nothing to Kyoya,_ Cavallone would tell his right-hand man, and if two or three hits with a pair of tonfas were enough to knock the giant lump of metal out, then Dino was correct.

_That_ wasn't the problem.

Hibari provoking Xanxus and downright leading the Vongola's victory to the beginning of Xanxus's revenge was, in fact, the problem.

Yes, the boss of Varia would have found other ways to manipulate the course of the story even if Hibari hadn't challenged him, and Xanxus didn't inherit the position as boss of Vongola but that couldn't erase the fact that Hibari's thirst for a fight almost got Vongola the Ninth killed and prompted another, more disastrous inner conflict.

* * *

About a week has passed since the Firmament battle. Dino hasn't paid Hibari a visit since, although his plans to fly back to Italy have been postponed upon Reborn's request. Playing and training with his little brother sufficed as an entertaining alternative to his duties as a boss. Moreover, it prevented him from getting even more pissed off at Kyoya's inconsideration.

It sets Dino off so much because he refuses to understand how someone, especially a boy so young, can lust for blood to such extent. Dino used to wish he didn't have to be involved with the criminal world in the first place and had only later accepted to adapt to its rules, but not without constantly struggling between protecting himself and his family or doing what's he's aware it's morally right.

Hearing of a teenager going on raids, beat innocent people up, intentionally instigating a supposedly defeated enemy for the sole reason of asserting their dominance and cause more violence is simply something that is beyond Dino. Hence why he immediately took a liking to Sawada when he travelled to Japan to make his acquaintance: that day, for Dino, it was like talking to his younger self who hadn't gained the _Bucking Horse_ title yet.

Even now that he's skillfully swinging his whip around for Tsuna to try to learn a technique or two with the same weapon, Dino feels like he's tutoring the him from the school for children of mafiosi. It's a strange feeling, he thinks. He’s annoyed, because the hatred he feels for those days is still strong in his heart, but amused all the same, as his handful of happy memories are from his teenage years as well.

* * *

In the aftermath of the battle, Hibari has gone as far as taking the school infirmary for himself to treat the cuts caused by Belphegor's strings. He's gone on for about a week washing, sanitizing and band-aiding the most concerning injuries, but he's ignored the more superficial cuts and once too many he has neglected his own medication times. If anyone dared to approach him, they would have noticed the contusions and infections on his arms and his left leg, the leg sniped by a laser shot of that Mosca — or whatever its name was. Hibari couldn't care less about remembering. 

The prefect touches the bruise, as if thinking about the duel against Xanxus made it sting all of a sudden. His hand meets the fabric of his school uniform, but the wound still burns underneath. Hibari tightens his grip at the vision of the boss of monkeys but doesn't realize it until the pain heightens — he forces himself to bear with it with a straight face. 

As if there was anyone else in the room who could see him writhe.

As if showing himself writhing was a problem worth of shame in the first place.

Hibari doesn't recall passing out. He wakes up to a migraine similar to those he gets when the silence around him is broken, and wakes up to his injured leg still pulsing from gripping too strongly. He is not in the infirmary anymore, below him is the sofa of the Disciplinary Committee room, where he shut himself in after going on a routine patrol of the building.

The familiar sound of wings flapping and a high-pitched voice chirping _Hibari, Hibari!_ softens the mood that has been ruined solely waking up. He raises his hand to welcome his little companion before taking a handful of bird seed out of his pocket and offering it to the chick.

A few minutes pass as Hibari watches over Hibird eating and plays with it, distractedly, his thoughts getting too scattered even for himself to catch up on them.

He thinks about the façade of the perfectly built school being kept up only by a despicable illusion while repairmen from an organisation he doesn't want to meddle with are working on fixing the damages. He's fine with the workers, but the knowledge of the illusion irks him.

He thinks of the infant telling him that if he waited he may have had the chance to duel against Rokudo Mukuro once again. He has waited. Then he happened to find out that his archenemy _has_ been to Namimori for the occasion. However just like the Mist Guardian came, he disappeared again in unknown depths, leaving Hibari's thirst for revenge unquenched. Despite the missed chance, he's not so surprised when he realizes that he still wants to trust the infant's words.

He thinks of the ring he threw away and had to wear again, and reflexively rubs the precious band with his thumb.

He doesn't want to think about his stomach demanding food since yesterday.

To distract himself from the hunger he thinks about the week where the Bucking Horse hurriedly dragged him to the forests, mountains, sea and riverside. It just hits him that the training trip was just a poorly made-up excuse to bring him away from the school grounds which were being occupied with no permission and demolished with no consideration.

Hibari had never asked for that training and the Bucking Horse had the audacity to start calling him by his first name thirty minutes after making his acquaintance and never stop, and then proclaim himself as _his_ _tutor,_ though he revealed to be a worthy opponent — more than Hibari could have predicted when Cavallone burst into the room and introduced himself. A shiver runs down his spine, his lips curving in a smirk with the anticipation of sparring with that presumptuous foreigner again, sometime in the near future.

A bawl followed by a few knocks on the door snap Hibari out of his thoughts. "Chairman!"

It's the vice president of the Committee. His superior lets him in, not before sitting back up on the sofa. The little animal finds a nest in its owner's hair.

"Chairman, lessons are over. No fuss made while the students were leaving. It's just us and a few other members here at the moment," Kusakabe is very careful not to say _fellows_ instead.

Hibari hums. "Is it? Well, then."

The underling looks at him, idle and unsure about what to do, since the prefect hasn't given him the permission to leave yet.

Eventually, the permission comes: "You can go now."

Kusakabe's shoulders sag in relief and his muscles relax. But there's one more thing he wants to make sure of before going home. "Are you staying here?"

His voice is softer — as soft as a rumbling voice like his can get.

Hibari says yes, unbothered. As inconceivable as it sounds to the majority of students in the world, he thinks of his school more as his home than his actual home.

They started spreading rumors that he actually spends his nights there, and they're not wrong: to cope with the obsession of having the whole building under his control Hibari has, indeed, basically started living in Namichuu. Not in a well-suited and much less in a legal way — but besides only few actions of his don't go against the law.

Ruling a city using violence and terror as means to establish order is unjust, unethical and vile, but a despotic delinquent such as Hibari Kyoya doesn't care about morals.

Kusakabe struggles to contain his sigh.

"I figured," he raises the hand he's been carrying a shopper bag with ever since he walked into the room. "so I brought you dinner."

Hibari hides his surprise behind the suspicious scowl directed to the bag itself.

"It's a small bento from _Takesushi._ Yamamoto Takeshi offered some to his classmates and upperclassmen as well."

Kusakabe can't imagine how the prefect would react if he knew that Yamamoto also said _I'd be happy if Hibari ate it too!_ and therefore he decides not to add such details.

"Crowding with Sawada Tsunayoshi's gang now, are we?" 

Before the poor Kusakabe starts stumbling over his own words, he notices the lack of aggressiveness in Hibari's tone, replaced by mockery instead. A tease is better than a tonfa hitting his head, he thinks.

Finally, but against all expectations, the president mutters a _thank you,_ low. So low that it's barely audible even in the complete silence of the room. He is staring at the sunset now. If it's an attempt to hide awkwardness, neither Kusakabe nor Hibari himself will ever be able to tell.

The vice president excuses himself with a bow that Hibari doesn't see.

After the sunset stops looking so interesting, Hibari picks the bento in front of him. His body is still persistently craving for food, while in his brain a battle that sees _you don't need it_ and _don't waste it_ as opponents has just set off. He wouldn't spit on food but the mere thought of _eating_ twists his face into a disgusted expression.

He opens the box, still reluctant to give in to his primary needs, and an empty spot suggests him that part of the contents has been taken away. Before he can think it's disrespectful, he remembers that this particular _Takesushi_ bento contains a portion of shrimp nigirizushi — it's the reason why he never buys it for himself, but of course Yamamoto would offer boxes with more than one variety of sushi.

Hibari also remembers that Kusakabe, and only him so far, happens to know about his eating disorders and that ever since childhood, shrimps — among several other types of food — make him gag, so the missing portion must be his doing. The doing of someone who despite the past mistreatments and despite the delinquent looks is still a boy with a kind heart.

It will take Hibari hours, but he will eat everything.

He isn't aware of it, but he has just made the first step towards acceptance.

* * *

"Maaan, I'm so tired," Dino yawns while stretching not so gracefully and bending over the table. Contagiously, Tsuna yawns too.

Reborn scolds him. "You're as wimpy as you were years ago, huh."

"Stop calling me a wimp, Reborn, especially in front of Tsuna! I'm old and I haven't had a good fight in a while, I just got a little rusty!"

Dino's whines piss the infant off. A broken finger is only a twist away. _Ouch, ouch, ouch!_

"You're not even 23, shut up!"

They can see his eyes tearing up — the boss knows it's better to avoid complaining about his birthday being only a few months away if he wants Reborn to spare him.

Sawada witnesses the scene with a mix of amusement and empathy for his big brother and terror for Reborn's spartan methods.

"Besides, Dino-san, haven't you been training with Hibari-san?" 

Dino sighs, now serious and sitting on his chair almost properly, looking anywhere except in Tsuna and his tutor's eyes. "To be fair, not after the Vongola Ring battles ended."

"Oh, is that so?" the Bucking Horse can't tell whether he's hearing surprise or disappointment. "Why is that?"

"I haven't met him at all, you see. Knowing him, I'd better have a first-aid kit with me just for walking down the school yard," Dino laughs it off, but he doesn't succeed in his attempt to sound playful.

"Given Hibari's bad temper and your boisterous personality, it's just so normal that he wants to crush you without hesitation."

The siblings yell in unison, exasperated. _"Reborn!"_

A few minutes pass as Dino recalls all the fuss Kyoya made for great part of their training week. He has to admit that not _everything_ about it was stressful: he actually did have a few _good_ duels against the brat and a couple of times the same brat took his guidance in account — when his bloodlust wasn't overwhelming him.

It would have been much easier to become the tutor of someone like his little brother, or maybe Yamamoto. The days at the Cavallone mansion with him were fun, establishing a friendship was quick.

"Listen, Kyoya's just that hard to deal with! He threatens you saying he'll bite you to death," Dino makes a face, mockingly. "and then he doesn't even let you take a break. Not like he'll make it since I'm stronger than him, but there's just so much I can handle in a day!"

"So you _are_ still the same wimp!"

The shout comes decorated with an insult in a language foreign to Sawada's and a clip round the ear. In Reborn's eyes, Dino has definitely gone too far with his complaints. 

"Weren't you so eager to help Tsuna? Where did your motivation go? Stop whining like a toddler and go training Hibari like Tsuna's life depended on it!" a sigh, then Reborn calms down. "The next Vongola boss does need his Guardians, after all."

A few seconds of utter, silent tension pass before the _next Vongola boss_ in question debates for the umpteenth time that those _Guardians_ are just friends and upperclassmen, and that he didn't even want to be involved in this mess to begin with, but his complaints fall on deaf ears. While Reborn pretends his pupil didn't bitch about his duties as successor at all, Dino finally opens his eyes. His former teacher's words remind him why he flew to Japan in the first place. He feels bad realizing he's been wronging Tsuna with his whiny attitude the entire time. 

Dino smiles to his little cute brother, and apologizes. He's found the resolve to keep training Hibari again.

* * *

The next day at Namichuu, Hibari has just ended one of his usual patrolling duties. He's had to discipline a couple of freshmen who came late to class, but other than that and the general noise he has to bear with everyday, not much has happened. He feels very proud when he can state that the order in his school has been established today too.

Filling paperwork doesn't sound as appealing as a nap on the rooftop. Despite napping pretty often he hasn't had a good proper sleep in a few days — sometimes disturbed by noise, sometimes by nightmares — and at the moment he simply wishes to lie down, let his back feel the cold concrete and doze off under the warm breeze that blows over town with his cute bird.

Until he opens the door to the rooftop, Hibari doesn't even imagine that before his eyes would be one of the best sources of entertainment he could ask for. One that he _has been_ asking for.

A grin widens on his face as he recognizes the blond hair and that green parka. His hands are itching to wield the tonfas he carries under the gakuran. He lets himself drown in the thrill.

In an instant every fiber of his body is ready to hunt the prey. His nap is going to be postponed, but for a valid reason.

In front of Hibari, Dino is smirking too. He holds up a hand. "Yo."

After that, stillness. The only proof that the world hasn't stopped around them for the occasion is the wind resounding in their ears. They do nothing but stare at each other. Daring, squaring, analyzing. 

And then, suddenly yet predictably, Hibari storms onto Cavallone.

He rushes against him as if he means to crush him down to hell.

Despite the force, Dino easily stops Kyoya's attack. One wrist, then the other: Hibari is stuck between Dino's fists. His hands are big enough to tug both the pupil's slim wrists and his weapons — does Kyoya not remember? During their training, his attacks have been neutralized like this more than once, all because he doesn't control his fury. Dino believed he had taught him this already.

"As welcoming as always, huh, Kyoya." Sarcasm tints the air between them. Hibari grunts in response and struggles to be freed from the grip. The Bucking Horse will have to take in a kick in the guts. Although bending his knees makes it more tolerable, a wince betrays his confident smirk. But it's not enough to let Hibari go. 

The resulting posture is uncomfortable, especially for Dino, but he amusingly finds that it lowers him to Hibari’s eye level.

Initially Dino drove to the school together with Romario to have a frank chat with his pupil rather than a spar, but the more they silently incite one another, the more Dino gives up on the patience needed to hold a conversation that not only would be one-sided, but also mostly ignored. He knows it’s wrong of him to feel angry with Kyoya, following his actions during the battle against the Varia, only to lose his own composure in an eerily similar way, prompted by the very same person, but ultimately he can't resist the anticipation of a fight and he lets himself off the hook just this one time since _one,_ he’s Kyoya’s tutor, and _two,_ Kyoya won’t listen to him either way.

The usually diplomatic Tenth Cavallone is coming up with one too many excuses for his own good just to camouflage his sole, real, _irresponsible, egoistical, shameful, ignoble_ impulse to solve this matter through actions, not words. Like the latin proverb says — or something.

The lecture will come later, is the empty promise he makes to silence his superego, trying to trick himself into thinking that _in any case_ this can be considered training.

Hibari thinks that a sudden jerk, more violent than his last, is what sets him free from Dino's grip. Not like it matters. Glee tints his expression again as he watches his opponent finally unleash his whip and make it snap on the ground.

Both guard, murderous.

Another crack comes right next to Hibari's feet. The game starts from there.

The prefect charges at the Bucking Horse again, as furiously as earlier, yet nimbler. One moment his tonfas don't seem to care where they're going to hit. The very next they're aiming at Dino's shoulder, then at his chest and then at his chin.

Dino allows himself to be cocky, he scoffs each and every time his dark rope blocks the dangerous metal. He pirouettes to the side to dodge another hit. A quick and repeated snap of the whip generates an imaginary leather barrier in front of him. Kyoya is unable to counterattack without being grazed.

But despite successfully keeping Hibari at safe distance, Dino is neither attacking nor defending. He's teasing his opponent, messing with him, reminding him that he is no more than a middle school brat.

He is embracing his title as the _bucking horse._ At the least glorious of levels.

The rope rubs Kyoya's left thigh — and Dino's ears don't miss the hiss that escapes from his mouth.

Ignoring the new burning pain of the old wound, the prefect doesn't stop trying to breach through the tangles; however, Dino notices that he has started dragging his leg, guarding it in any way he can, whether he's doing it consciously or not.

His student's less fluid movements awaken Cavallone from the number of delusions he let himself sink into. Reborn's words from yesterday slap him again, adding to the weight of self-inflicted condemnation. Dino's disappointment with Kyoya becomes stinging disappointment with himself, he struggles to prevent a sense of guilt to creep up on him.

Dino wavers, the whip’s swinging speed decreases and he's so distracted by the flashing call of his nature as a nurturer that he narrowly manages to deflect a hook. 

He doesn't have the time to dwell on his failure to live up to his principles: with an opening finally in sight, Hibari begins to rain punches again, almost blindly, making him pay the consequences for acting high and mighty and playing around instead of fighting seriously.

The only way out of the duel is one last crack of the whip, one that wraps around Hibari's arm. Dino stares at him in the eyes, with the coldest gaze he manages to put up, his breath cools down the sweat and heat of the fight. He doesn't want to give his internal torment away. The prefect returns the scowl.

"What's with your leg?"

"Nothing," Hibari jerks. "Leave me."

"You're injured."

"I said, leave me."

Dino sighs. On a clearer mind and maybe because his fleeting pride is still battling for dominance, the defiant attitude of his pupil makes him realize that his irritation is not _completely_ inopportune. Even so, he knocks some sense into himself and leaves space to his usual caretaker character. "You got a bruise there, don't you?"

"Your idiotic weapon did it."

The Bucking Horse pretends to ignore the decorative insult for the sake of the little mental stability he has regained. "We both know this is not what I'm talking about."

Upon being called out, Hibari replies with another scowl, but he doesn't deny.

Dino thinks of Kyoya refusing medical treatment even when his whole body and his entire uniform got stained red after one of their trainings, and then to the injuries he saw on him during the actual battle against Varia. For what he knows about this guy, which isn't much but enough to depict the whole picture, Dino can bet his tattooed arm that Hibari hasn't been treating his injuries properly — and he points it out.

Hibari's only luck is that his uniform hides most of the bruises and cuts, except a few on his cheeks and on his hands which have already scarred.

"Mind your business." Another jerk.

Dino pulls his whip tighter in reply. His soft voice betrays the gesture. "Let me help you, Kyoya."

"I don't need your help," Hibari hisses. He thinks about how much he hates the Bucking Horse's bossy ways. "Get lost".

"I won't go away until I made sure that you've been treating your wounds."

Hibari's already little patience has reached its limit but, instead of lashing out, he loosens his blocked arm. An argument with that horse would go on until sunset — and he isn't so inclined to putting up with him in the only time of the day where he can have the school all to himself.

Dino squares him up but then his guts tell him that it's safe to release Kyoya.

And well, if for 'safe' Dino meant that the prefect wouldn't start charging at him again, then he is right, but he didn't consider the option of Kyoya simply turning around and walking away. He hurriedly blocks his way. "Can you tell me why in the world you refuse to be helped?!"

No, not only Hibari can't, neither he wants to. Hibari is not self aware enough to understand that behind his _choice_ to defy anything and anyone, and live his life as a stand-alone, lie more morbid reasons. Reasons rooted in fear. Reasons rooted in trauma. 

He doesn't fully acknowledge yet that violence begets violence.

Despite his young age he's convinced that there is nothing wrong in his lifestyle.

He has never considered the option to walk down a healthier path because ever since childhood he has never had proper guidance.

He has only ever known one way to face despair: destruction.

Destruction of whatever hinders him, destruction of _whoever_ hinders him. Eradicated, burnt to ashes until nothing is left.

Not even Hibari Kyoya himself.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> today marks my 6th year into khr, and what's the best way to celebrate it if not (finally) updating this!! esp considering that back then i got into the series _because of_ dino and hibari ww

Even with the lights off, if one were to walk into Dino's temporary bedroom they might think a typhoon has just passed by, leaving everything in place except the bed.

The typhoon, namely Dino himself, had burst in and almost forgotten to change his clothes before he crawled into bed. He had hoped that he'd finally get some proper sleep, but everything makes him uneasy: the mattress feels hard under his back, the blankets are heavy on his body and the clothes stick to his skin. On top of that, the darkness feels distressing. 

Dino checks his phone once, and when he unlocks it again, he expects for at least one hour to have passed. 

The phone must be lying, damn, how could it be just a couple minutes?

Dino stares intently at the device to see the minutes change and make sure that time hasn't become slower tonight; the ticking sound of sixty seconds he makes in his head is too noisy. 

He's disappointed to find out that seeing a different number displayed on the clock doesn't give him any sort of relief.

A groan breaks the silence in the room. Then, for the third time tonight, Dino puts the phone down — except this time the motion is so rushed that he ends up _slamming_ it on the nightstand and it's a miracle that it hasn't slid right down to the floor. He rubs his eyes as he curses every saint he can think of at the moment.

Dino tries lying face down, but he soon feels weighed down to the mattress with the pillow clogging his nose up.

Lying on his left side makes his shoulder hurt. On his right side, the moonlight, as dim as it may be, peeks through his eyelids. The annoyance acts as a fuel to a good dose of negative thoughts occupying Dino's mind, and they get louder with each attempt to silence them the same way a mischievous child would poke a friend's arm and snicker louder the more they get told to stop. As Dino turns on his back again, he frees himself of the burden the blankets make, frustrated. He contemplates the ceiling, resigning himself to the fact that he is not going to get any sleep this night.

He's _so_ tired.

_You failed_ , a voice whispers to Dino in the back of his mind. _You failed your duties_. The Boss of the Cavallone Family wasn't asked to do anything difficult, yet he made a mistake. No, even worse: more than one. Tsuna and Reborn's voices play again in his ears as if he had recorded them. Secondly he pictures his rampage in front of his eyes, the tricks he did with his own whip and a furious Kyoya trying to disentangle the rope without success.

_Is this what a teacher is to you?_

Earlier today Dino embodied the characteristics he would hate the most in a tutor and he deserves getting disciplined. If no one else does it to him, _he himself_ will. Dino is kind to others and harsh on himself. He can't allow himself to flunk like that again. He has to be a _proper_ mentor, but not because he wants to: because Reborn asked him to, because Tsuna has to grow into a powerful boss with trusted Guardians and because Kyoya looked like he seriously needed someone able to help him. ( _In what?_ ) 

Dino dislikes Hibari and other people like him — he can't and will probably never understand them — but he tries putting some effort into believing that reaching a hand out to Kyoya may still be worth it. If he ever grabs it, that is. On a second thought, Dino is not so sure. Maybe it will just be a waste of time. Maybe if he reaches a hand out, Kyoya will chop it off with the hook that pops out of his tonfa. Maybe Dino takes idioms a tad too literally.

The main problem with his “ _I don't want, but I have to do it_ ” attitude is that Dino, prior to his inheritance, was made to believe that his own wishes didn't truly matter. Young Dino learnt that he only had to go out of his way to fulfill _other people's_ wishes. There was no time for fun and hobbies: his duty was to grow into a capable, responsible tenth boss of the Cavallone family.

Not one day passed that the youth didn't hear of murders; of houses, buildings and cars being set on fire; of dirty money and drug deals. He hated the world he was born into, and more than anything he despised the odds that decided he had to be one of the _leaders_ of this criminality. He hated the bigotry. He hated the God that everyone around him so falsely praised and prayed to.

He wanted to run away — and tried so more than once. He found himself crying in his room almost every night.

The last glimpse of hope for a life outside of the mafia vanished when the unmistakable symbol of inheritance marked the left side of Dino's body indelibly. That day, the _Bucking Horse_ replaced _Dino_ , and the cries of the child who only wanted to live an ordinary life had to be silenced. Forever.

 _“A wimp isn't fit to be a boss, people wouldn't hang around with a crybaby,_ ” became the Bucking Horse's mantra. He repeated it to himself over and over for days, weeks, months, during every training, until he started being convinced of it.

At this point it's been almost seven years since _Dino_ got buried under a façade of jokes, rowdy laughter, helpfulness and friendliness. This is what people like him for. He can't have a whiny attitude, or show needs and selfishness, especially now that the adulthood responsibilities add more weight on his shoulders. Otherwise the people in his life won't keep in touch with him anymore.

Not being needed makes him feel worthless. Being unwanted, for him, is scarier than death.

* * *

If pulling out from the tutoring duties is a no-go, then keeping up with the training sessions with Namimori's prefect — and trying _harder_ to find a way to functionally communicate with him — is the only option. What happened yesterday just needn't happen again.

Although Dino does his best to be as sneaky as possible, he's met with a bunch of curious eyes belonging to the Namimori students as he crosses the school corridors. Every glance is followed by murmurs and whispers into a friend's ear — Cavallone doesn't miss a single reaction. An adult, tall, built figure like his and his clearly foreign traits — as well as his _even older, even taller_ and _even more built_ right-hand man — could never go unnoticed even taking a detour through the less crowded places in the building, so Dino could only pray that he wouldn't walk by a too big number of students, but obviously Lady Luck can never be by his side. Dino is glad that he didn't meet any teacher, at least.

A tour around the school never seemed this endless, Dino whines to himself. He grips the rooftop door handle and heaves out a tired sigh, drooping so much that he almost hits his forehead against the door.

For a second, Dino considers leaving, and only knowing that Romario is staring at him from the back and silently waiting, refrains him from doing so. Going all the way to Namichuu with your most trusted man only to walk back home doesn't give a good look, does it? Moreover, Dino _may_ be a little incoherent, but thankfully not enough to do something that would make him sink back into the self-deprecation pit he drowned into last night.

Dino holds the handle a little tighter, as if that small metallic ball could be a source of conviction.

It takes him a few seconds before his eyes get used to the sunlight.

Kyoya is laying down on the floor and it's surprising that he hasn't jerked awake and put himself on guard as soon as the door opened. Romario stops at the entrance, while the Bucking Horse slowly approaches Hibari. From a better angle, Dino can see that Hibari isn't actually sleeping — unless he has the hidden superpower to fall asleep with a hand in the air without risking a gangrene.

Dino is kind of pleased to see that what Kyoya is holding in his hand is the Cloud Ring. Though the prefect _still_ hasn't reacted to his tutor's presence and it's starting to get suspicious. Dino wonders whether Kyoya really hasn't heard him or is just straight out ignoring him. Considering the type of guy in question, both options are quite concerning.

Dino squints, weighs every step, resists the urge to snap his whip to see if _that_ could catch his pupil's attention.

Another step, and being cautious is worth no more: Hibari averts his gaze from the Vongola symbol to the shadow that has just blocked the sunlight above him.

"You're in the way," the president hisses before he takes off his earphones. At least that explains why Hibari hasn't noticed Dino earlier, but more than that he doesn't move, and Dino can't believe how there isn't a unfriendly pair of steel sticks flying to his face yet.

" _Good morning, Kyoya!_ Never learnt manners? You say 'hi' to people when you see them."

The prefect stands up, slow and dangerously silent; the only noise coming from him being the clink of his ring and a chain being carelessly dropped on the ground — much to Dino's dismay. Tense shoulders and a slightly annoyed scowl betray Hibari's composed appearance. It's perhaps just a mere matter of habit what makes him grab his weapons. The Bucking Horse shouldn't be there, and Hibari concludes that he _doesn't want_ him to be there. He makes a note to self to beat whoever let that meddling horse into his territory later, when he's successfully knocked _him_ out.

"No, no, no, Kyoya, I ain't here to fight today, put those down."

Dino is _so_ fed up with this brat refusing to do simple _favors._ But he wants to see the donut instead of the hole, so he'll appreciate the fact that _at least_ Kyoya is just standing still and not attacking.

The prefect commands, "If you're not here to spar, then leave _immediately._ "

Dino shrugs. "I'm afraid I can't do that, I'm here for a little chat! Well, actually a _long_ chat _,_ you see _,_ there are two important things I need to tell you."

"And I'm afraid," Hibari echoes him, "that I don't want to listen to you."

Dino forces himself to stay as calm as possible. He's sworn to Tsuna and Reborn that he'd keep fulfilling his role as Kyoya's mentor. He's sworn to himself that he'd try to be better. And it's with this self-reminder that he only grits his teeth while muttering, "can you _please_ make my work easier?"

Not spitting out an insult is hard nevertheless.

Dino loses count of the times he's thought that he's _tired_ in the past two days. It's going to take him at least fifteen minutes and some metaphorical _balding_ before he manages to convince this very uncute student of his to sit down on the floor with him.

Sometimes Dino may give the impression that he's one to speak without thinking much, but in reality he's an observer and a listener first and foremost. He knows that every person is approachable in ways that others may find obtrusive, and he engages with people accordingly. He watches people and finds the best approach to each individual he interacts with, it's natural to him to do so. Dino is diplomatic and is especially skilled in flattery, he knows what to say or do to have people at his feet and his job requires that he _will_ make use of this eloquence, if needed, for better or for worse. 

It's thanks to this natural quality that Dino realizes that with someone like Hibari, he has to use entirely different ways than his usual ones. Kyoya doesn't give a damn about flattery — he probably hates ruffians — and the more straightforward you are with him, the better, but he seems to respond to promises for something entertaining, and if there's anything that entertains Hibari more than a spar, Dino doesn't have any clue about it. Fighting is the last thing the Bucking Horse intended to do when he came to the school, but nothing else has caught his pupil's attention — and truth to be told, he thinks, he _doesn't have to_ keep this stupid promise.

Dino watches Hibari fidget his leg and he likes to assume it's the anticipation. With a second assumption that Kyoya is listening to him, Dino goes off, straight to the point, with what he has wanted to yell at him for in the past few weeks. "You do know what it meant to provoke Xanxus, yes?"

The first reply is a sigh, but words come with it, too. "It meant hunting an opponent that I couldn't let go of without making him crawl on the ground first."

"What an elaborate answer!" Dino claps his hands once. "Too bad that's only what _you_ believe it means."

Hibari swears that if this boisterous horse dares to speak sarcastically one more time, he will shove one of his tonfas down his throat.

Dino continues. "Not a single one of those who were there care about your thirst for a fight. All they saw was Vongola the Ninth getting almost fucking killed! It saddens me to say this, Kyoya," — it doesn't sadden him at all — "but even though Xanxus tried to blame Tsuna for his own gain, it was _you_ who caused all that first."

If that's an attempt to guilt the prefect it has completely failed, but he is still visibly annoyed. Hibari may have acknowledged he was the root of it all, but there is _no way_ he'll feel any remorse nevertheless. He has too much pride and too little empathy; he is domineering and will get what he wants no matter the consequences. Following the Bucking Horse's words, Hibari doesn't care about most of the people who took part in or witnessed the battle the same way those same people couldn't care less about his motives. Moreover, in his opinion, the fact that all of them were in _his_ territory justifies him. Defending your land is just a natural thing to do, especially when threatened by a self-proclaimed _strongest_.

Hibari concludes, "I don't like your arrogance."

" _You_ are calling _me_ arrogant?! You serious?"

"Yes," Hibari spits, irritated. 

Dino hesitates. "Answer this, Kyoya: do you really not care about anything that isn't yourself?"

"I don't." It's a lie, but not to Dino's ears and much less on Hibari's own mouth. "And stop calling me my first name."

"I won't stop. I want to know why you're like this. At your age you shouldn't use violence the way you do. You shouldn't use violence at a—"

"I don't want you or anyone else to tell me what's right and what's wrong. _I_ decide for myself." Hibari's lips curve in a smirk, and Dino knows that nothing good is going to come out of it. "If I could go back in time, I would fight the boss of monkeys again."

"Isn't _that_ arrogance? Do you not understand that the world does not revolve around you?"

Literally speaking, Hibari has never thought that. If anything, he's always believed that the world revolves _against_ him, and the sole reason Hibari has to carry on is to oppose it. Surrendering was never, nor will it ever be, an option. Dying isn't, either. The only choice is to bear with the burden of his past and live in a way that ensures that nothing, no _body_ , will hurt him again.

Dino and Hibari look at each other, tense, both determined to see the other lose the staring challenge. Eventually, Dino is the first one to speak. "Hey, why— _what_ makes you so prone to violence?"

"And what makes you so prone to meddling in my business?" 

They silently stare one another again, then Hibari makes it clear that he has no interest in keeping the conversation going. He stands up with a grace that wouldn't make anyone think he is so violent, if they didn't know any better. His footsteps are nimble, light and inaudible. His elegance makes him even more dangerous: you cannot hear him, you cannot see him until it's too late. 

Hibari picks up the Cloud ring, which was still on the ground, and nonchalantly throws it at Dino, almost leaving. "I don't need this thing."

Dino rushes to catch it, fearing that another hit could ruin the purity of the precious band. "Hey, hey, hey, this _ring_ , not _thing_ how you called it, has an inestimable value! Take better care of it."

Hibari's indifference baffles his tutor. Dino has to sprinkle his student with interest in some way.

"You saw it too, didn't you? The way the ice trapping Xanxus melted because of the ring flames. It's speculated that those very flames will determine the results of every conflict from now on."

If Hibari had cat ears, they would twitch. Dino hands Hibari the ring, suggesting that they start working on strengthening the flames. Hibari stares at the jewel and considers his words, silent. He's still not _that_ keen on keeping the ring.

When no further reaction comes from Kyoya, Dino thinks he should come up with something again. Quickly. He begins with a premise: "Look, I'm not happy with the way you deal with stuff so don't assume I'm supporting it now," — the prefect gazes back at the Bucking Horse, inviting him to continue whatever bullshit he is going to spill next — "but your flames could be a better weapon against all the people you want to fight!"

Hibari squints, and Dino goes on.

"Only a few of the most powerful criminals know about these speculations right now, but I'm sure they will reach Xanxus soon too, if they haven't already. Reborn definitely knows about it and he'll train Tsuna properly." With a fake naivety, Dino adds: "Mukuro could get out of the prison and find out..."

 _Bingo!_ Dino can _feel_ Kyoya's blood boil. His pupil's face contorts in a scowl which is almost hilarious to look at. He will thank Reborn for this hint later. He must have really struck a nerve because Hibari even puts the ring on his finger! However, Hibari's emotions shift rapidly from resentment to thrill: a grin widens on his face and a shiver runs down his spine at the thought of being advantaged against Rokudo. It's much more convenient if the Mist Guardian doesn't get to learn about this quirk until it's widely spread among the criminal world, but Hibari isn't so unwitted to belittle his nemesis's power or information net despite being immersed in a liquid miles below Earth's surface. Nonetheless this doesn't mean Hibari isn't going to exploit his advantage for as long and as much as he can, rather than the opposite. He frowns again when he looks at his ringed fist, trying to light up a flame.

If up until earlier Dino only _assumed_ that Kyoya was driven by nothing but anger, especially his bitterness towards Mukuro, now he's completely _sure_ about it. Those frowns don't lie. How can he teach this brat that hatred isn't the only feeling you should have for people, Dino wonders, because he cannot conceive a middle schooler like that — even though the _Bucking Horse_ himself grew up living with the same negativity — but now is not the time for such questions. That's how Hibari gets more power and they _have to_ make good use of it. As wrong as it sounds like.

Dino needn't hint Hibari anything other than 'visualize your flame'. He nods when he sees a little purple blaze sputtering above the Cloud ring. "Impressive intuition, Kyoya!"

Hibari's usually apathetic eyes betray curiosity. He lit only a small fire but the energy it radiates feels strangely familiar, in a way that makes him want to throw that piece of metal away again. He can't tell why, but for an instant he can swear that between the waves he's seen a black braid whose owner he knows well, and he'd rather block any old memories before they even have the chance to overwhelm him.

Dino chuckles. It's enough to distract Hibari from his own thoughts. "I'll teach you something useful! In order to increase the flames you need irritation."

Hibari tries to mentally focus on Rokudo again, and he is not so taken aback when he, the Bucking Horse and Romario are surrounded by a flashing purple light.

* * *

When taught something new, some people don't bother reading up more information; a good fraction decides that learning more on the topic is worth it; some immerse themselves in their study session for days, maybe weeks, and may neglect their primary needs for the entire duration of it because nothing matters more to them until they have grasped even the most minuscule detail. Hibari Kyoya belongs to the third category, although no one would likely ever be able to tell.

The Bucking Horse leaked seemingly relevant theories, which other extremely powerful and wealthy criminals would rather keep hidden in the shadows, and now Hibari is part of the restricted group of people who know about the Vongola Rings’ flames and their importance. He has learnt that these 'flames' are nothing but highly concentrated energy which acquire one among seven different shapes and colors — depending on the user's innate power. The colours being those of the rainbow, and the correspondence to the Guardians' titles and their rings makes Hibari curious. While the correlation explains a lot by itself, it's also the core of Hibari's _many other_ questions: are people born with these flames? Are there people who don't have flames at all? Can these be brought out only with the rings? Do we have more than one flame within us? Can we train to earn a new wave?

Starving and pulling his own hair until it hurts doesn't lead to much result, if any at all, but Hibari is too stubborn to give up on the subject. At the very least, repeatedly lighting up his Cloud flame has helped in lifting the general uneasiness, and the prefect is glad to be able to analyze its features without feeling as dizzy as when he had just thrown up.

Needless to say, even more than his own Cloud flame, Hibari wants to learn every characteristic of the Mist one and why it appears that only the people who own it have the power to make up those damnable illusions. 

The Disciplinary Committee, especially Kusakabe, begins to worry about their boss, who has forbidden everyone from entering the Council's room if he is in it — meaning no one could _ever_ walk in for the past three days. Likewise, the other students have started thinking that not seeing the president beat anyone up for days is pretty unusual. Sasagawa Ryohei is the one expressing his concerns the most loudly, going as far as throwing punches at the Committee room in an attempt to slam it open. When Hibari shows himself on the threshold, disturbed by the noise, he looks no different from a demon in a low budget horror movie, groaning something close to a "go away" in a raspy voice — Tsuna is so frightened that he is sure that face will haunt his sleep for the next week.

The prefect has already shut himself in his cave when Gokudera chews him out, in his _colorful_ language, for being so disrespectful towards the Tenth. For everyone's safety, Yamamoto suggests they all just leave Hibari alone.

It's not a coincidence if the Bucking Horse is in Namimori again the day after: for as much as Sawada does _not_ wish to deal with Hibari's sour mood, he is the first person who casually talks his concerns to Reborn, who contacts his ex student so that he could at least check on Hibari. (Since it seems Dino is getting good at convincing him!) 

When given a summary of what happened, Dino can't find anything unusual in what he's been told about Hibari's reaction. However, he can't turn a request from Reborn down, and so, again, he drives to the school. 

In order to avoid dealing with all the students, unlike the last time, Dino chooses to sneak in when lessons are over and almost all of them have gone home. Getting in front of the Committee room is easy and quick.

Dino knocks once, twice, he calls Kyoya's name and knocks again. When no answer comes from the other side of the door, Dino intrudes himself.

At first glance, Hibari isn't in the room, but Dino decides to be cautious regardless. The prefect could be in the bathroom, or he could be grabbing some food or... he could be hidden behind the piles of papers and books that are gathering dust on the desk _._

This last guess is correct.

Hibari lies with his head on his arms, sleeping. In the last days he has tried to learn at least the basic characteristics of the Mist flame and how illusions really work, using what he has memorized about the waves in general, his own attribute and Mukuro's abilities. However, together with the lack of food and sleep, not coming up with anything new or useful frustrated him to the point of passing out.

It's impossible not to notice the notes and sketches on the desk, especially the ones erased with crosses and angry scribbles. Dino picks some sheets so that he can read them better, while a sequence of thoughts runs on his mind: _"Kyoya draws really well!", "what the fuck is he, a nerd?", "oh shit, this is partly my fault."_

He puts down the papers while looking at Hibari again, troubled. It's the second time Dino gets bugged by the feeling that Hibari needs help. _Serious_ help. But he wants to shrug it off until he has seen more — as if all he has seen about Kyoya so far isn't a red flag already.

Waking Hibari up would be a terrible idea, even if it's just to tell him to at least sleep on a sofa. Dino grabs the gakuran that is folded on the chairback, and drapes it on Kyoya's shoulders. He tries to be as careful as he can, to avoid waking Hibari up to the sound of the rustling of clothes, but even so he accidentally makes something drop to the ground.

It's a picture of two children wearing traditional Chinese attires. Dino looks at the child with with a yellow changshan and neck-length hair, who is pouting, making a funny contrast to the other kid's warm smile. Judging from the picture, Dino doesn't think the pouty kid is older than ten. He wonders if it's Kyoya, but there isn't really a different option — unless _none_ of these two people are him — considering that the other child, while being somehow really similar to him, looks like a newborn and brings a red pacifier to his chest.

What is an Arcobaleno doing in this photo is a mystery that Dino is eager to solve — and only Reborn can tell him more about the strongest infants, as he is one himself.

Dino carefully puts the photo back in the pocket where it fell from. He makes sure that Hibari still hasn't woken up, and dials Tsuna's number as he walks out of the room.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dino suffers in this one
> 
> **tw: injures, orphanhood, death mentions, grief**

Ever since the ring flame’s secret power had been revealed, Dino and Hibari have been clashing their fangs again like they did in the week that preceded the battles against Varia: trying to obliterate each other until they couldn’t tell who the spilled blood belonged to.

It’s not about the flame training as much as their sheer desire to crush the other and finally demonstrate which weapon, which life philosophy would prevail.

Dino notices that Kyoya’s strength increases each passing day, like he predicted and told the Vongola after the Storm fight. Unfortunately, together with his power, Hibari’s bloodlust has reached a new peak as well.

If Dino can — mostly — control his murderous intentions, Hibari is completely blinded by them.

Hibari doesn’t know in-betweens when he is beating someone up: he is either too bored because his opponent is worth less than nothing, or too excited because his enemy proved themself powerful enough. He is not interested in dullness, whereas danger makes him feel alive — that’s his problem. Hibari thinks that a life without intensity is not worth living. But like this, not only can he barely ever rest properly, despite sleeping so much, he is also seeking that excitement from the wrong source.

When Hibari rains hits and kicks against the Bucking Horse, he is sure that he’s wholly controlling himself. But reality is not just different — it’s the opposite.

He doesn’t allow anything or anyone to subjugate him. He is proud to say that he doesn’t surrender, but he has actually submitted himself to his own unquenchable thirst for blood.

Hibari can’t grow mentally until he realizes that there can be value even in a balanced life. 

Dino and Hibari don’t seem to get tired of fighting although they’ve been at it for hours and hours, now. Nobody wins, nobody loses.

Dino has decided to never dare look down on Hibari while battling anymore. Kyoya’s power and will are extraordinary, that is a fact. It’s weird and almost unbelievable, how a mentor and his pupil can already fight on equal terms after so little time.

 _But._ There’s a but.

It’s also a fact that Dino is older and has more experience.

Dino and Hibari’s raw power may be even, but the latter doesn’t have the strategic ability to actually defeat the Bucking Horse yet. On the contrary, Dino has won against Kyoya almost every time they have sparred. (When he didn’t win it was either because he called break time or something interrupted them.)

When the whip finally blocks the tonfa from striking, Dino smirks, and it’s not to make fun of Hibari. It's the thrill that comes from thinking that he can’t wait to see Kyoya win against him. 

Both student and teacher, as well as the latter’s right-hand man, are still on the school rooftop. Their duel is over, and now they’re treating their own wounds, hydrating, and wiping the blood from their clothes as best as they can. 

“Geez,” the annoyance slips from Dino’s mouth as he frantically rubs the dirty fabric of his pale jacket. “Can’t you go easier on me?”

If Hibari’s ears catch the part where Dino whines about that jacket being new and one of his favourites, he has completely ignored it. He scoffs, “You wish I did.”

Dino thinks he’s getting a deja vu from the clash they had in the woods, where they had an almost identical banter right before Hibari ran off to Namimori, where Gokudera's fight had just taken place.

However, today Hibari doesn't plan on leaving all of the sudden — or at least, nothing hints that he is going to leave, according to Dino's guess. If anything, Hibari’s chat doesn’t end here.

“It seems you have finally started sparring seriously, too,” Hibari comments, satisfied, as if he almost appreciates seeing his body covered with the new injuries caused by the Bucking Horse’s attacks.

“You wouldn’t let me get away with it if I kept playing around, no?”

Hibari’s lips curve up in a wide, threatening smile, and Dino takes that as his answer.

Judging from the bronze hue of the clouds, it’s gotten quite late. Hibari doesn’t need to hiss at Dino to tell him to leave the school grounds, as Dino already knows it’s time for him to go. But neither is done with their medications yet — actually, Hibari’s left arm looks more swollen and purple than it’s healthy, and it’s only thanks to his unmeasurable stubbornness that he still manages to move it. His school uniform won’t hide it like it did last time, as parts of the flannel have been ripped right above the bruise.

Hibari tears more fabric with his teeth so that he can bind the contusion, but it’s poorly done. Concerned brown eyes watch the attempt fail, and two hands instinctively reach out to fix the damage before it worsens.

“Don’t touch me.” 

The sound of the hands being abruptly slapped decorates the command. Dino waves the stinging hand around, whining. “We bled all over each other until just earlier and now, suddenly, touching your arm to help you is off-limits?”

They go on arguing but — be it because his patience falls short way too quickly to stand all the fuss, or because he’s aware that the wound requires more than rudimental treatment, or a mix of both — eventually Hibari accepts the Bucking Horse’s help. Whatever the reason may be, Dino finds himself more excited than he probably should be when his student allows himself to be taken care of by others — his mentor, in this case. Dino is still a nurturer at heart, after all, and it shows. He has a soft side that is so eager to help anyone, but perhaps, _perhaps_ when he does, he wants something in return — whether he knows it on a conscious level or not. But in this case, Dino can affirm with all his heart that there is nothing he wants back from Kyoya for simply applying some salve on the bruising skin. Or better, he would say that it’s very far from his own definition of ‘being indebted’.

A damaged pride hurts much more than an injured arm, and Hibari could almost admit defeat over the sole fact that he's let the self-proclaimed tutor, who’s been bugging him for about the past month, approach him outside of the battlefield — to _heal_ his wound, even. Except that the guy in question is still _Hibari Kyoya_ , who is not going to accept his loss even when someone almost makes him meet the Creator and leaves him bleeding in the shadows of a theatre after breaking half of his bones.

Hibari is torn between following every movement Dino makes to detect any possible threat coming from his hands and not looking at him putting bandages on his arm at all.

He decides that the first option is the safest one, but being on guard makes him stiffer than needed, although it’s clear that Dino means no — further — harm.

The salve leaves a fresh sensation that makes a huge contrast to the heat of the bruise: Hibari jerks his arm, but Dino readily holds him firm again. “Just a sec.”

Hibari struggles. He frowns, his breath gets louder and deeper, and he twitches his arm again and again, as he feels like inside his veins didn't flow blood but a colony of ants. He wants to be free from the Bucking Horse’s grip because in his twisted view of reality, ignoring the wound will hurt less than treating it.

Dino notices all the reactions. “They say that shouting when you’re hurt lessens the pain,” he states without taking his eyes off Kyoya’s arm. “Holding back makes it worse. You try to distract from the pain but you only end up focusing on it more.”

“Thanks for the lecture, but I am not a whining weakling.” Hibari grits his teeth. “You’d like to see it, wouldn’t you.”

 _Maybe_ , Dino thinks to himself, and then he immediately buries that single word below a series of scattered thoughts to conceal the realization that it’s a tad sadistic of him to want to see someone writhe from their wounds. Especially if it's a teenager. However, what Kyoya just said implies things that are wrong on many levels — like the concept of being weak only because you express your hurt, be it physical or emotional, which to Dino is, on the contrary, a sign of noble strength. (A strength that not even he himself is blessed with.)

Despite all the good intentions Dino has had until now, he squeezes Hibari’s arm right where the bruise is darker and stings the most, making the long minutes of medication — _torture,_ Hibari would say — all useless. To Hibari it feels like someone has just smashed his arm with a hammer. He hisses and wriggles and groans in front of this _mocking_ horse, and when the fire in his arm tames and he can see colors again, he squints at Dino with more hatred than he’s ever conveyed before. Dino can’t help but stare back at him with a light in his eyes that seems to tell _“Prove you right”. That_ is a face he wanted to see.

Rather than by the gesture, Hibari feels insulted by the very smirk that’s printed on Dino’s lips. He can’t bear with him or his arrogance any longer. He steals the first-aid kit from this bastard’s hands to deal with the contusion by himself, meanwhile through his scowl he still warns Dino that he will make him regret ever being born.

The heavy, silent tension that dominates over the rooftop is suddenly broken by the harsh noise of the access door being slammed open. A guy with spiky brown hair hurriedly follows a tiny figure in a black suit, who he exasperatedly yells at to wait for him.

If Hibari is already irritated, he’s definitely not the kind of person who is mindful enough to avoid lashing out towards blameless people, except when it comes to Reborn: if the prefect doesn’t instantly knock the panting, defenseless Sawada out, it’s only thanks to his little tutor.

The two guys in black greet each other, and Hibari’s shoulders tense up as his body gets ready for another entertaining fight. The infant notices it, and he calms him down. "Sorry, Hibari, but I'm not here to fight today."

He suggests they have a clash when Hibari’s wounds heal completely, but neither believes they will meet on the proving grounds for real.

Something bothers Dino’s mind as he watches the three people around him. He starts feeling quite uncomfortable. He’s the one who asked to meet his ex tutor, the other day on the phone, because they _absolutely_ had to talk, but there’s no possible way they can do that when the main topic is the very Namimori prefect who is in full flesh sitting right in front of them.

“I thought we’d all see at home, Reborn,” Dino says, and no one can tell whether he failed at playing casual or his alluding tone is intentional.

Reborn shrugs but he doesn't return the same dark tone. Not entirely, at least. “Your fault making us wait. Drive us home.”

Dino glances at Hibari again, and he doesn't expect to meet two full moons staring right at him intensely, squaring, somewhere between questioning and daring. Dino heaves out a sigh too deep as he hopes that Kyoya is _just_ still angry at him for digging his nails into his arm. After all, nothing about the brief conversation he's just had with Reborn hints at anything big, but his student does seem to be one who reads the air, and Dino is anxious that he might understand something nonetheless.

Dino stands up before Hibari can do the very same. He takes his car keys out of the pocket and makes them flip midair. "Let's go."

His voice sounds way brighter than just earlier.

Dino has already turned his back to Hibari when he stops walking, as if he has forgotten something. He turns around to face his pupil again. His eyes go from looking right at his student's to contemplating his bruised arm, but his thoughts are all about the picture he found when the prefect was bent all over his desk, and the doubts that the whole situation has raised.

"Sorry 'bout earlier." Dino whispers, and he's _sincere_ , for the first time with Kyoya. "See you."

* * *

If Reborn and company have made it safely to Sawada’s house, one could say it’s because some superior being has watched over Dino’s car from above. Dino is not the reckless kind of driver, much less when he’s carrying other people around, though _driving_ and _overthinking_ have never really gone hand-in-hand.

Dino and the infant have asked his subordinate and his student respectively to hop off the car first, so that they could talk privately in the vehicle. Romario shows concern for his boss, fearing that any motion would lead to _little_ disasters if no member of his family is with him. Dino dismisses his right-hand man with forced kindness and tells him there’s nothing to worry about, since he’s not going to leave from there. Romario decides to stay within safe distance either way.

Reborn and the Bucking Horse wait until they have made sure that no one is around before getting their discussion started, but Dino still finds it difficult to come up with a fitting way to bring it up — and Reborn has spent enough years with him to tell whether he’s just about to throw a fit or it’s really an important matter. He knows this is not the latter. 

“So? You wanna talk about Hibari, right?”

Speaking Italian adds up to the feeling of privacy and security. Dino feels already a little more at ease, knowing that he can put second languages aside for a while without feeling bad for the people who wouldn’t understand what he says.

“There’s quite a bunch of stuff,” Dino stays vague, but not for long. “The other day you asked me to check on Kyoya because he barely showed up at school, right.”

“Yeah, that’s about it.”

“Well…” When words start rolling on Dino’s tongue for way too long, the hitman just accepts that this wimp did something he shouldn’t have. “He was… busy. Studying.”

“You did _not_ call me just to say this.” Reborn doesn’t take out his glock, but Dino feels threatened to go straight to the point nonetheless. He rubs a hand across his face.

“Okay, okay, okay. I told Kyoya what we know about the Ring flames and he kinda... how can I say it.” — He stumbles upon his words before he lets out with one breath — “He must have spent all those days learning one thing or two more on his own.”

He adds that when he found Kyoya, he was sleeping on his scribbles. He hasn’t realized yet that Hibari had, in fact, _fainted._

Could have been worse, Reborn decides, but he still isn’t happy that Dino revealed those obscure theories to Hibari when they’re still so uncertain. “Why'd you even tell him?”

Dino finally snaps, trying to justify himself. “He wasn’t going to listen to me otherwise!”

Both of them sigh, and then fall silent.

_“But_ this is not the main thing I had to tell you,” the Bucking Horse blurts, suddenly. Reborn silently invites him to go ahead. “It’s about a picture I found in his uniform. There’s him — I suppose — as a child and an Arcobaleno.”

“An Arcobaleno?”

“Yeah, the one with the red pacifier. Fon is his name, right? They even looked pretty much the same. I thought you may know something about it.”

Reborn confirms the name, but denies having any clue about the couple of kids. He’s already making guesses in his mind. He hasn’t seen the Storm Arcobaleno since the ill-fated day that changed his and his fellows' lives forever. During their last mission on those damnable mountains that still occasionally haunt his dreams, Fon was the person he talked the most to.

The Sun Arcobaleno reminisces of Fon telling him that his younger step-sibling had just moved out to his household, but he hadn't made the child's acquaintance yet because of the ongoing mission. Fon wanted their task to be completed soon because he was really looking forward to going home and bonding with that kid. Reborn clings onto the memory of Fon’s excited face as it’s the only good one he has of that day.

After the blinding light that cowardly prevented the chosen seven to look at their bodies get cursed had retreated, an infant with a red pacifier approached the baby with the yellow symbol to bid him goodbye. Fon’s eyes betrayed sorrow, and to Reborn it was a lot to take in, considering just a few minutes before his partner was smiling and shining as he showed all the brotherly care he had for that child who he hadn't even met yet at the time.

Fon never told the hitman what his brother’s name was. But when he made Hibari Kyoya’s acquaintance in Namimori, he was struck by his and Fon’s striking similarities. And now his ex pupil is telling him he found a picture that features Fon and a kid that looks the same as him in Hibari’s own pocket. Reborn doesn’t believe in casualty, nor in coincidences.

Before parting ways and disappearing, Fon asked Reborn to never search for him until he himself showed up first.

Reborn says sorry to Fon in his own mind, as he is going to break this promise. He wants to know.

“Reborn? Hey, Reborn, you’re way too quiet.”

Dino’s voice brings the infant back to Earth. Reborn only just glances at the Bucking Horse before he hides a frown below the shadow of his fedora. It sickens him to his stomach to realize how much the cursed event and all that happened — and all that did _not_ happen — with Fon still pains him even years later.

“I was thinking,” is his brief explanation to Dino. And now he wants the thoughts of that day to leave his brain. “Anyway, do you have the photo with you?”

“Of course not. You want me dead?”

“Did you take a picture of it with your phone?”

Now, Dino takes a pause where he damns himself for being an idiot before replying. “I didn’t think about it.” And he gets worked up again. “But maybe it’s better if I didn’t, because Kyoya could have woken up in the meanwhile and slashed my throat!”

The infant pinches his arm. “You’d have deserved it.”

Some minutes pass, where Dino makes a fuss about what Reborn has just said and Reborn calls him names, but their arguments are never meant to last long, and so they’re soon acting serious again.

Reborn is about to get out of the car when the Bucking Horse asks him, "Do you know anything about Kyoya's family?"

 _“Of fucking course you had to ask, huh,”_ the infant thinks to himself. Not like he doesn’t believe Dino has started making his guesses as well, but he’s not going to expose his assumptions right here and right now, due to the fact that he doesn’t like stating anything unless he’s sure about it, and because it would also require that he reveals the truth about his entire identity — something known to even less people, excluding the Arcobaleno themselves, than those who are aware of the Ring flames. The time for this hasn’t come yet.

"Not much," Reborn eventually says. "His family was probably in the yakuza. But I know for sure that Hibari is an orphan."

No other combination of words could have made Dino’s mood drop faster. A heavy feeling creeps up from the inside of his chest, clutching at his lungs. “An orphan,” he repeats. A dull murmur.

He isn’t ready, nor can he prepare for what he’s going to hear next.

"It seems like Hibari's parents were killed when he was a child. Though, no matter how much I look into it, I can’t find anything."

The feeling of discomfort spikes up with every syllable Dino hears, making him prey of the fangs of his own trauma of growing up without the support of his own parents, which isn’t all that different from that of his student’s. His stomach starts acting up. If the wheel wasn’t hard enough he’d break it with his fingers, given how strongly he’s clenching his fists around it. His eyes burn when the portrait of his deceased father paints on the canvas of his mind. He chokes down everything: spit, tears, emotions. He wishes Reborn had been more tactful with him about this topic. “Was Kyoya adopted?”

“It’s what I’m gonna tryna find out next. The school is his home, anyway.”

“You're telling me he _lives_ there?"

"Yeah." Reborn confirms as if that was the most normal thing ever. Then he adds, “Maybe he’ll tell you about this story.” Only God knows whether he’s sarcastic or not.

This time, it’s Dino who falls in a grave silence. His weeks of questioning Hibari’s condition have finally met a shared answer. The intense empathy he feels for people has turned out to be, once again, a double-edged sword, allowing him to love and care deeply, although making him over-involve himself with their own lives and feelings — and getting hurt as he does so.

To think that the annoying brat he recently met and accepted to train only to help Tsuna shares the worst thing about himself and the worst experience of his life leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. Romario had indeed compared Hibari to Dino once, but the latter just laughed it off after almost agreeing with his subordinate.

_We’re not the same._

_What’s so alike about us?_

Only the mentor-pupil connection that the both of them shared against their will and their combat strength, Dino thought. There couldn’t have been anything else. Or rather, there _shouldn’t_ have been. He was wrong. His mouth curves up in a sad simper.

It’s faster to spot Dino and Hibari’s few contrasts than telling the many similarities they're not even aware of. The _real_ difference is that one of them has succumbed to his fate and succeeded as the tenth boss of the Cavallone family; the other has gone all the way to reject all that had been decided for him since his first breath.

Dino lives as a servant for his family and his friends; Hibari’s drive is all about the importance and need to be independent.

“I could help you research Kyoya’s past,” Dino eventually suggests, and he _hates_ that he always puts anything and anyone above his own comfort. But he doesn’t have any other choice, not when he feels this newfound sympathy.

Reborn rejects the offer, saying that he can do it by himself. He’s already come up with a few ways to try to contact Fon. “Besides, you’ll go back to Italy at the end of the week, right?”

Dino's reply is more of a displeased sigh than an affirmation. “Yeah, that’s true.”

It’s going to be Cavallone the Ninth’s death anniversary, and every time Dino takes the yearly recurrence to visit the graveyard and wave hello to him and his mother, who died from illness, even when he perfectly knows neither of them can hear him.

Every year, Dino brings flowers to his parents' graves and imagines all of them hugging and laughing and living the happy family life they were deprived of. He stands in front of his father’s tombstone and asks him his forgiveness for refusing to meet him when he was on his deathbed. He repents for the bratty insolence and cowardice of his younger self, who only gave Tigre and the Irregolare family the perfect excuse to attack the Cavallone’s headquarters and take its boss’s life.

Long ago, a teenager who had his life changed forever had also learnt that dying wouldn’t suffice redemption. Inheriting the tattoo on his left arm, its meaning, and the position as Cavallone’s leader is the price Dino has to pay for his crime.

Dino hears Reborn take a breath, sign that he’s going to speak again. He starts with, “There’s one thing I never told you.”

The hitman’s voice discloses more remorse than he means to. Dino isn’t so sure he wants to listen to what his mentor has to say, given the gloomy air around the two of them. 

"It's about your father."

Dino feels his heart beat in his throat, however, despite the apprehension, he doesn't stop Reborn from talking.

And so it comes.

“Before the Ninth engaged in the battle and died," Reborn whispers, grievous. "He said he’d have been okay with you choosing your own path.”

Upon hearing those words, Dino’s lips part, shaking, murmuring scattered laments; all his muscles sag and he sinks in his seat, as he refuses to trust that what Reborn has just said is true.

Dino is unable to form a concise phrase among all the thoughts fleeting in his head at the moment. He's torn apart by the disbelief for such a report and the misery he feels for hearing too late the comforting words he has wanted to be told all his life. 

There’s so much Dino would like to say now, but with his heart storming so wildly, he only manages to breathe, “How can you tell me like this. How can you tell me _right now_.”

It makes Reborn feel guilty.

Tears begin to wet Dino's cheeks, and it’s no use to wipe them away, they won’t stop. What's so hard to believe is not the fact that the Ninth’s last words were about his own son. What Dino can’t come to terms with is acknowledging that his father would have accepted him regardless of his choices. Dino was raised through love and kindness, but he had always perceived these feelings as false, as sufferance in disguise. An absence of malice, rather than genuine affection.

Things only got worse when Anna, Dino’s beautiful mother, lost the battle against her illness. Back then, Dino felt as if he had lost his guiding light, the only person whose company could make him forget about his future duties for a while, because it’s true that Anna was a don’s wife, but it’s also true that she treated Dino as _her child_ first, and as the _heir of the Cavallone family_ second. Meanwhile, Anna's husband gave in to despair, and his health deteriorated rapidly too, making him incapacitated to even see his son grow.

It’s only with the impact that such words have had on him, that Dino finally realizes how _rejected_ he constantly felt during childhood — especially by his father. Because of this man, Dino has seen himself as a caged animal for most part of his existence, and he buried his hopes and his dreams in a pit.

But despite all the weight that was put on his shoulders, Dino has never been able to hate his father, not even when he really wanted and tried to. After all, rather than his family, he despised the circumstances they were all, together, into.

Dino would do anything to spend even just one more day with his parents.

Sadness, guilt, rage, anguish, regret — all overwhelms Dino and makes the ‘funny guy’ mask he had covered himself with through so much strain, crumble in an instant like glass shattering on the floor.

Dino’s cries reach Reborn’s ears like pained howls. His grief reaches the force of a flood that not even the strongest infant can stand against — and he’s brought to tears as well, apologetic and heartbroken from causing the guy he raised rip his own skin off over despair.

Dino lets all his sorrow out as he punches the wheel and he calls out to his father once, twice, and more, countless times.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **tw: parent death, grief/mourning, general depression**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was meant to be way shorter than the others from the start because it counts as an interlude, but for a series of reasons it took me double the time to put it down. finally, here i am!  
> i think i should say that i also shame ~~lessly~~ fully changed a little the tags/intro as well as a couple of details in the reborn/fon flashback in chp 3 _oof_

_And days came and went_

_but the light_

_to dark was bent_

_And how futile is to_ _repent_

_when God is just absent._

_This life dulled me abysmally_

_And crowned me the king of shards_

_Kept sucking me dry_

_Till there was nothing left but a mortal apparel._

* * *

A manly, but trembling voice reads an Italian incision carved on the gravestone built right ahead of him.

_"Grieving is man’s right but never forgetting is man’s duty.”_

The whisper vibrates through no other but Dino's lips, and he's on the verge of tears as he stands in front of the memorial stone of Cavallone the Ninth — _the tomb of his father —_ trying to let go of the anguish that is making him writhe from his very core. 

On the right, there's Dino's mother's grave too, where nothing but her name, portrait and date of birth and death are marked. 

As for tradition, every time Dino visits the graveyard he carefully places a bouquet of flowers near the picture of his defunct parents, and takes away the withered plants. These lifeless flowers whose bright colors are no more, reflect the soul of whom is carrying them. Clenching his fists, Dino causes the rustling of the last leaves and petals that were clinging onto the stem — a short, slow rain that meets the stone, glooms the carpet of fresh flowers, falls on Dino’s shoes and touches the ground.

Some feet behind, two eyes witness the moment, in solemn respect but not without guarding, behind pitch black sunglasses whose sole current purpose is to hide swallow, red eyes. Romario will revere his former boss and his wife later.

Dino slowly stands up — a motion that requires double the effort and time it would naturally take, because his whole body feels heavy, crushed down to the ground. He crosses his hands like he is about to pray, but if he really expresses a prayer then it is only in his thoughts.

He kisses the palm of his tattooed hand that is now covered with a thin glove, and gently puts it on the portrait of his father — the closest gesture to caressing him that Dino can do.

He repeats the gesture for Anna. When he closes his eyes, he opens the way to the first teardrop, then to the second, and soon his cheeks are rocks that sustain a waterfall of sadness and regret.

His shoulders shake, and his quiet cry is broken by sobs and sniffles, by a choked moan that begs forgiveness. 

Tears turn everything around him into a blurry stain. So intense is his pain that in his mourning moments, Dino wishes to forget that his soul is alive in a breathing body, forget that he is a human being and that he has made irreversible mistakes. Perhaps the very reason why that inscription was carved in the stone is for Dino to be tied to his memories. The reminder that he has to bear with the sin of running away and causing the death of his father until he exhales his last breath.

If only young Dino had agreed to meet his father when he was told the man's conditions worsened…

If only he didn't let his judgement be blinded by repressed anger and resentment… 

If only he had more courage…

The Bucking Horse's life is _studded_ with 'if onlys' _—_ as well as with 'what ifs': what if the Irregolare family never provoked the Cavallone? What if Dino didn't have to be involved with the criminal world to begin with? What if he was told earlier that the defunct don cared about his child's dreams and wishes; that the Ninth acknowledged that for the clumsy, quiet boy that Dino used to be, the burden of being raised in the system that plagues Italy would have been too heavy to carry?

This is not the life Dino wanted, but he didn’t have it in him to rebel against his fate until the end. As a child, he cried until he had tears to shed and whined until his vocal cords emitted sounds, but when he understood that what he went against was bigger than him, he let himself be swallowed and sucked dry, and he turned into a ghost that lives off the code of silence.

He didn’t have it in himself to _fully_ hate his father either, and he forgave him, he _has forgiven_ him for what he did.

On the contrary Dino doesn’t believe he is worthy of being forgiven for his deeds.

Nothing will change the past nor bring the Ninth back to life. It's a matter of facts, and Dino accepted them a long time ago. But for Dino, being in the graveyard after Reborn's revelation about the deceased Bucking Horse's last words is like being there for the first time all over again. It’s like he has _just_ heard the doleful news that his father isn’t in this world anymore. It's making Dino's heart ache in ways that are new to him, although he's been drowning in his grief for the past seven long years. 

Dino isn’t able to stop his tears, no matter how much he scratches his cheeks with the sleeve of his suit. Not even Romario at the back can look at his young master drown in so much sorrow anymore. When the Ninth lost his life, Romario didn’t just start to take care of the Tenth in the role of his most trusted subordinate: to Romario, Dino is like his own son. This is the reason why Romario struggles to stand only behind Dino, when all he wishes to do at the moment is to be next to him and put a hand on his shoulder, to comfort him, to cry together with him.

Likewise, Dino looks up to Romario like he is his second father. The Cavallone family is made of over five thousands people, and Dino knows everyone's name and cares about every single one of them, but if Romario hadn't been part of it, or part of Dino's life at all, Dino admits that it wouldn't have been the same.

Dino is not sure about how long it's been since he has stood in front of his father's grave. Whenever he is here time stops, as if it gets warped, dragging the whole world with it in an endless cycle of pain and confusion.

For the Bucking Horse, time stopped the moment he was told that his dad was alive no more.

Dino’s life has barely ever been a peaceful one, but since that day he has never had proper rest, or genuine fun, or time for himself that he didn’t spend feeling exhausted by breakdowns or putting all his energies in avoiding getting one. Everything that has happened to him in the years that came after, feels like a never ending loop of dull days that look all the same, like printed with a stamp. Like a song played and replayed until you start hating it.

This, until Dino met Sawada and his friends, at least. 

Dino’s mouth twists in a simper when he tells his father that taking Tsuna under his wing, being involved with Reborn again and becoming Kyoya's tutor, are slowly putting an end to this suffocating monotony, and even though his tasks and his pupil are hard to deal with, he has started to see a change. It’s through a sob that Dino asks his father whether he thinks he is doing well or not. Whether he is proud of his son’s handful achievements or not. Dino will never hear the answer but if the breeze that blows his hair right after his voice cracks can be taken as a sign, he almost finds comfort in it. He touches the memorial again.

 _That’s right_ , Dino thinks, as if he has just remembered something important — except it’s something he could never forget about, like a revelation, but the anguish has made it hard to focus on.

Reborn’s words have amplified Dino’s sorrow to a new, almost unbearable extent, but in the few days before his flight to Italy Dino had time to ponder on what his ex tutor told him. He thought and cried, while eating, while lying in bed, while getting his stuff ready for the trip, _during_ the trip, digging into himself, his sadness, and coming to terms with the darkest of his thoughts, until he met a faint light, a sparkle that he didn’t know he would have been able to see inside of himself at this time.

It’s a feeble flame in his chest, but not one that is soon turning to ashes. It’s a flame that has only just started burning.

It’s the strength of not falling down a new pit whose end is nothing but a field of hatred and a river of blood. The strength to try being glad that he got to know about his father’s real wish, that he was loved more than he ever thought he was — even though, being this the world it is, only the worst outcomes took place.

Renewing this resolution won't be easy, but it surely marks a new beginning. The beginning of a cathartic, healing path.

Dino speaks again through the turmoil of emotions that are making his head spin, his eyes cry until they have dried out, his fists bleed inside of the gloves and his lungs are close to collapsing in the core of his body. He’s impressed that he hasn’t lost his voice yet.

“Thank you, dad,” he murmurs, imagining the defunct man in temporary flesh saying his final words to him instead of them being reported by the infant sitting next to him in his car, years after the event.

His voice keeps cracking. Romario hears everything. “Be proud of me. There’s something I wanna do from now on.”

His right hand hovers to the skull tattoo on his collarbone, it doesn’t matter if his suit is a veil between his neck and his fingers. He rubs the area, almost digging his nails in it, only stopping when his skin stings. For the first time in his life he thinks that there’s no need for him to inflict pain to himself.

Dino closes his eyes, depicting the design of that tattoo in his mind. The blue flame that comes out of the skull’s eye mirrors the way he currently feels about himself: a sprinkle of life that emanates from within a decomposed body.

He is crying, still, but he is sobbing no more. He’s just silently freeing himself of the gravity that has tied him down all his life as he finally remembers that _“life”_ is exactly what this very tattoo means, and that _protecting_ life isn’t just a task the Bucking Horse was asked to fulfill, like it means nothing.

It’s a charitable act that _Dino_ wishes to do.

It’s ironic, although not strange, that the next thing Dino sees past his closed eyes is the shape of that uncute student of his. He thinks about their fights, their arguments, their similarities and all that made him question Hibari’s sanity.

Hibari definitely doesn’t need any protection if we talk about physical strength, but he is _life_ too, and it’s Dino’s wish to take care of it.

Dino doesn’t want to do anything but help people. As many as he can. Of course, he will start from the people around him. He isn’t all that surprised when he realizes that Hibari is the first person he wants to help, and not Tsuna. Not like Sawada’s growth has suddenly got tossed aside, but Dino finally _really_ understands the difference between training a problematic guy to be useful to your little brother, and caring about a guy with evident issues and deciding to do anything that may help him.

Dino looks at the picture of his father again and, through his tears, almost makes a joke about how difficult assisting Kyoya is going to be.

The storm in Dino’s heart eventually blows over, and after almost twenty-three years of his life, for the first time he experiences the lightness of holding his life in his hands instead of being a puppet whose strings are commanded maliciously.

He doesn’t know how he will act in the future, but if there’s anything he's sure about _not_ doing, then it’s leaving Hibari behind.

Dino tries to push back the voice in his head that rightfully says a graveyard isn’t a place to feel any remote happiness, but instead of feeling guilty about it, he takes it as a sign that it’s time to go. Finally, wiping his tears away stops them for good.

A soft, tired but not strained, crescent moon is Dino’s last offer to his parents, before turning around and walking up to Romario, who can’t help but welcome him with a tight hug.

The familiar warmth makes Dino feel emotional again — as if he had ever stopped being — and he hugs Romario back, thankful that they can support each other in the sorrow of losing important figures in their lives.

But there’s something else Romario wants to convey with his hug, and it’s the pride that Dino asked his father to feel for him — it may not come from the same person, but it doesn’t make it less meaningful.

_Can’t wait to go back to Namimori,_ Dino thinks, and he doesn’t realize that it resulted in a whisper, muffled by the fabric of Romario’s suit. However, it’s going to take at least a year before he can travel to Japan again.

During the road to his mansion, and in the few months that follow, Dino ponders on what he can do to be a better mentor, but he has a feeling that he will not come up with a real solution until he meets Hibari again.

Dino will end up thinking about Kyoya’s past more than he’d wish to do, making assumptions and looking into it. This will hurt him, it will remind him over and over again about his own story. But he will get more and more convinced that it’s a shared pain, and it’s mainly because of it that he will refuse to stop researching or training Hibari properly.

Actually, thanks to the information he has, Dino will slowly start understanding the reasons why Hibari is the way he is — violent, isolated, hard-hearted, homebound, tyrannical — and he will feel motivated to show that guy that the world out there isn’t entirely a gloomy one. Just like Dino himself has finally started to believe.

* * *

_You always walk away_

_Soon you'll have to face it_

_Your distance from reality won't bury or erase it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the lyrics at the beginning of the chp come from [cimmerian veil by a pale december](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QPPogw262s) and [thanatos by harakiri for the sky](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kjd8aod5_hQ) respectively, the lyrics at the end are from [the heart from your hate by trivium](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fwr1Z7uyXz4), and they were the songs that ~~put me in the mood to write~~ inspired this chapter


End file.
